Heal thyself

Dear Natty,

Nowadays you are getting up in the middle of the night and coming into my room wanting to sleep in my bed. Most of the time I tell you that you need to sleep in your own bed but you make excuses like, "But I don't like my bed," or "I need to go pee-pee" but you really don't need to go. You ask me if it is safe in your room and I always reassure you that it is. I tell you that I'm right outside if you need me. But I also tell you that you need to sleep in your own room, in your own bed. It's not that I don't care about you or that I don't want to be with you. I love you and I want to be with you as much as I can. I don't even think it's necessarily a bad thing if you sleep in the same bed as your parents, which is why I sometimes let you.

Letting you sleep with me is the easy thing to do. I lift you onto the bed, make sure you're comfortable, and then I can drift back to sleep. The hard part is getting you back to your own bed as you make up excuses for your anxiety. But I know that putting the extra effort in making you sleep in your own bed can go a long way in showing you that your bed is fine, your room is safe, and there is nothing you need to fear, not even the dark.

In a similar way, my Father in heaven is teaching me that same lesson. I approached God this morning and I begged for Him to let me be with Him. You see, I do not like this world and I do not feel safe in this world. The same people are ripping open wounds that were healing and complete strangers are threatening to make new wounds. I'm anxious. I'm stressed. I'm scared. So I ran to my Father and I asked Him to take me. His answer was to remind me of you and of your sleepless nights. He assured me that I am safe and that there really is nothing to fear, even in the darkness of this world. He wants me to be reassured that He is with me, no matter where I am, and no matter what situation I'm in. But I have to hang on and I have to have faith. Just like you, I'm learning.

Love,
Daddy